Current mood:

gloomy

this is just way too much stress for me to handle. i can't deal with a psychotic mother who tells me to fuck off & calls me a little bitch, tells me she hates me, all because i tried to wake her up to get a ride to smarts. i had to walk in the thick heat. just like the other day. arghhh. she brought my whole day down. she's bringing my whole life down. i can't deal with her bullshit. i really do need to get out. out out out of my house. graduation & college are a little over a year away, & i can't deal with that. i need it to be now, so i can go away, so i can get out of the house. the fights with her are more than little tiffs. she's insane. she's not right. i don't wonder why my dad wanted out so many times. i just don't want to be trapped in that house anymore. this summer i've been home so little. i try not to be home. any excuse. she fights with me constantly. she invents reasons to argue, to make me look terrible. i wonder why she even had children, if they're such a burden. it seems we get in the way of the fun times she spends getting cocked (most likely in all senses of the word) with her white trash, gutter slut, disgusting friends. apparently, this morning, taking some lose to work who will most likely spend his paycheck on crack was more important than her own child. she actually berated me the other day because i didn't want to give her my last 20 dollars. i said to her that she spent some money on liquor just a few days earlier & she said "ohh, a whole 7.99." i said "well, if you hadn't been the beer you'd be closer to the 20 dollars you supposedly need." god, this has just been a terrible week. i guess nobody wants to hear my bitch. i'm really sorry.